My Blue Heaven
by Becks Rylynn
Summary: A collection of 100 Dean/Ruby drabbles based off of prompts I am given. Feel free to prompt away!
1. BFF

_AN: Okay! So, I'm starting a collection. Like the summary says this is a collection of 100 Dean/Ruby drabbles. Not all of them are drabbles, but all of them will be incredibly short. Not drabbles and not quite oneshots. More like mini-stories. And it's an interactive collection. Exciting, I know. So everybody feel free to leave prompts. The prompts can be anything. Song lyrics, a simple word, a sentence, a line from the show, a line from another show. Pretty much anything. I can't promise I will get to every single one of them but I sure will try. And I need prompts because I'm all out!_

_Main title from the song of the same name by Frank Sinatra._

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

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><p><strong>My Blue Heaven<strong>

_Written by Becks Rylynn_

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><p><em>1/_

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><p><strong>Title: <strong>_A Sign of True Friendship  
><em>**Prompt: **BFF  
><strong>Rating: <strong>K+  
><strong>Genre: <strong>Friendship/Humor  
><strong>Words: <strong>334

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><p>Ruby groaned and slowly blinked open her bleary eyes as the sound of Led Zeppelin blared throughout the room. It was times like these when she really hated that one of Dean's worst habits was to steal her phone from her and fiddle with it until he had changed the ringtone to something he thought suited her better, leaving her unable to change it. Blindly, she reached out and plucked the phone from the nightstand, answering with a snarled greeting of, ''What?''<p>

_''Hey, hi, hello, my lovely, charming and beautiful BFF!''_

She sighed heavily and rubbed at her tired eyes, sitting up slowly. ''What do you want, Dean? Last time I saw you, you were stumbling out of the bar with that skinny little brunette hanging off your arm.'' Whoa. ...Was that jealousy?

_''Well, you see...I've sorta managed to...'' _There was a long pause and then a huff of breath. _''...I'm in a bit of a jam. I'd love you forever if you came and got me.''_

She rubbed at her forehead in exasperation. ''Why?''

_''Because the brunette from last night - kinky chick, by the way. Wacky, wacky stuff, let me tell you - is...not here anymore.''_

''Uh, okay. What does that have to - ''

_''I, on the other hand, am still very much here and I'd like to...not be.''_

''Dean, are you still drunk?''

_''Just come and get me,'' _he whined pitifully. _''Sam told me to fuck off and let him sleep before I even had a chance to say anything, it was incredibly difficult to make this phone call and you're supposed to be...we're supposed to be all BFF-ey. I'm still not clear on what that means, but we have a whole friendship thing going on and I'm stuck!''_

And that would be when realization struck with a healthy dose of both horror and amusement on the side. ''Oh my god. Are you - ''

_''I'M TIED TO A GODDAMNED BED, ALL RIGHT? WILL YOU JUST COME AND GET ME?''_

**end**


	2. Elephant Tears

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

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><p><strong>My Blue Heaven<strong>

_Written by Becks Rylynn_

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><p><em>2/_

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><p><strong>Title: <strong>_Cuffed  
><em>**Prompt: **Elephant tears  
><strong>Rating: <strong>K+  
><strong>Genre: <strong>Romance/Humor  
><strong>Words: <strong>469

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><p>''Tell me again why I hang out with you?''<p>

Dean stopped jiggling his knee and looked away from the boring white walls, sending his companion a wolfish grin. ''The sex.''

Ruby nodded, looking thoughtful. ''Right.''

''It's not so bad, you know,'' he said with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. ''It's just a misdemeanor.''

''_Dude_,'' she held up her wrist and jangled her new bracelet noisily. ''I'm handcuffed to a table.''

''Yeah, you're right. That's bad. They must think we're flight risks. Which, you know, is not that far - ''

''Okay.'' She dropped her hand back to the table. ''Listen.'' She grimaced and fidgeted in her seat. ''I might be able to get us out of here. But I must warn you that it will be painful, ugly and possibly the most humiliating thing I've ever had to do. If I do do this for you - ''

''Heh,'' he snorted and sunk farther into his own uncomfortable chair. ''You said _do do_.''

'' - In return, I'm going to need you to supply me with french fries. Lots of them. Like...lifetime supply. I'm talking every time I get a craving, you will be paying for them. Do you accept these terms?''

He thought about it, jingled his own handcuffs and then nodded. ''I do.''

''Shake on it?'' A few seconds and a few awkward hand maneuvers later, she pressed her lips together and leaned back in her chair. ''We'll shake on it later.''

''Sounds good to me.''

''When the donut hog comes in, you shut your piehole and don't say a word, 'kay?''

He beamed. ''So...what are you gonna do anyway? Flash him?''

She glared. ''Don't be degrading.''

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><p>Back outside in the fresh night air, Dean stared at Ruby with wide eyes and an open mouth, absently shoving a fine for trespassing into his pocket.<p>

''And that,'' she said, sniffling and wiping away the last remnants of her elephant tears. ''Is how you get the job done.''

''...Holy fuckin' shit,'' he breathed out. ''That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen.''

She patted his shoulder comfortingly. ''I feel a little dirty,'' she admitted. ''But it beats the totally not fun use of handcuffs.''

''I mean, I really thought you were losing your shit back there,'' he went on, staring at her with an awed look on his face.

''I don't fully understand that phrase, but okay.''

''I honestly felt like I needed to give you a hug.''

''You know, I'm feeling a bit peckish,'' she smirked and swatted him on the shoulder. ''Wanna buy me some fries?''

''You were like...there was blubbering. Actual _blubbering_. I thought you were going to hyperventilate. I was seriously _worried _about you.''

She sighed impatiently. ''See, now I knew I was going to regret this.''

''...You just looked so sad...''

**end**


	3. Damn doctors

_AN: Nosocomephobia - Fear of Hospitals_

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

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><p><strong>My Blue Heaven<strong>

_Written by Becks Rylynn_

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><p><em>3/_

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><p><strong>Title: <strong>_Nosocomephobia  
><em>**Prompt: **Damn doctors (thanks to Sammy's Wolf Girl for the prompt)  
><strong>Rating: <strong>T  
><strong>Genre: <strong>Romance/Drama  
><strong>Words: <strong>608

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><p>''Christ,'' Ruby got out through gritted teeth. ''I hate hospitals.'' She looked around the sparse hospital room, grimacing and fidgeting uncomfortably. To keep her hands busy, she grabbed the pillow from behind Dean's head, purposefully ignored his protests and pounded on it anxiously before she put it back behind his head.<p>

He groaned in pain quietly, swallowing the urge to clutch at his wounded and sore shoulder. ''Ruby - ''

''Hospitals,'' she went on, talking right over the sound of his hoarse voice. ''Are full of surly, overworked, overtired nurses and sick people and...and those damn doctors who just take your money!''

''Ruby - ''

''People come in here with ear aches and leave without their feet!''

''What? That's not...I don't think that's a thing that happens. _Ever._''

''You don't know that. This place. They're - They're sending people to the morgue who aren't actually dead and there's Kevorkian dudes and General Hospital-esque outbreaks.'' She paced the length of the small hospital room, periodically wringing her hands and pushing hair out of her face. If she kept thinking about these things or the circumstances that led to this hospital visit, she was going to need a paper bag or an antacid...or a double shot of whiskey. ''And there's people dropping dead in the hallways - ''

''Um, _no_.''

'' - And there is just so much bad shit happening here that it's not even funny. We need to break you out of here ASAP.''

''Ruby.'' Dean's voice was incredibly soft as he reached out with his good arm and grabbed her hand, pulling her down onto the bed next to him. ''Sweetheart,'' he squeezed her hand, ''I'm fine.'' When she sighed heavily and gently grazed her fingertips over his shoulder, smiling weakly at him, he smiled back and met her eyes. ''I'm_ fine_. A bullet can't keep me down for long.''

She chuckled softly, but it faded all too quickly and she shook her head. ''If that bullet had gone just a few inches to the left, Dean...''

''Yeah, but it didn't.''

''It could have.''

''Ruby,'' his fingers brushed hair out of her eyes. ''Stop worrying about what could have happened. I'm fine, you're fine, Sam's fine. Everything's fine. Everything's going to be okay.''

She smiled lightly and placed a hand on his cheek. ''Yes, Dean,'' she whispered. ''I know.'' She leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips and then pulled away, rising to her feet. ''You should get some rest. If you want those damn doctors to release you as soon as possible, you need to be well rested and you need to look...preferably not as ghastly as you do right now.''

He smirked and saluted her. ''Yes, ma'am.''

She sunk into the chair next to his bed and curled her feet under her, hoping he was smart enough to keep his trap shut and not argue with her about her sleeping arrangements.

He wasn't.

As soon as she pulled his jacket over her and rested her head in her hand, he sighed and shook his head at her. ''Ruby, you don't have to - ''

''Honestly, Dean,'' she sniped at him, lifting her head to flick her hair over her shoulder. ''You look like death warmed over.''

''Well, thanks ever so. Your concern is touching.''

''So, I think we need to be clear on one thing,'' she spoke up after a moment. ''You need to learn to be more careful. You need to be less reckless, you need to think more and...and no more getting shot.''

He smiled tiredly and leaned back against his pillow, closing his eyes. ''And no more getting shot.''

**end**


	4. Fluttering

_AN: I'm sort of prompting myself with this one. This is just a really short piece I wrote a long time ago and I found it today and thought - eh, why not put it in here? There will be at least one more story added to this collection this evening so be on the lookout!_

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

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><p><strong>My Blue Heaven<strong>

_Written by Becks Rylynn_

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><p><em>4/_

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><p><strong>Title: <strong>_Killing Butterflies  
><em>**Prompt: **Fluttering  
><strong>Rating: <strong>K+  
><strong>Genre: <strong>Romance/Drama  
><strong>Words: <strong>210

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><p>She starts to get this odd feeling in the pit of her stomach that she can't explain whenever she sees him.<p>

Like something is fluttering around inside, making her heart beat irregularly, her breathing speed up and her cheeks flush. It is a positively dreadful feeling, almost like she is about to be sick - which is a problem because as a general rule she does not allow herself to succumb to human illnesses - like there is something living inside of her that awakens and flutters when he looks at her with those piercing eyes or tosses her one of those patented smirks that only he can pull off.

She does not like the feeling of not being in control and when he's around, her control flies out the window.

She tries everything to make it _go away_. But for some reason unknown to her she just...can't. It's always there. In the end, she's stuck with these horrible feelings inside, this horrible fluttering and after trying everything under the sun to destroy this - she's tried drinking, violence, ignoring him, staying far, far away, telling herself she cannot want_ him _- she's simply left with the knowledge that no matter how hard she tries...

...You just can't kill butterflies.

**end**


	5. Airplanes

_AN: ...I had so much fun with this one. I was hoping to get it up earlier but I just kept adding to it and - well, here it is._

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

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><p><strong>My Blue Heaven<strong>

_Written by Becks Rylynn_

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><p><em>5/_

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><p><strong>Title: <strong>_Up in the Air  
><em>**Prompt: **Airplanes (thanks to HopeJalice4ever for the prompt)  
><strong>Rating: <strong>T  
><strong>Genre: <strong>Humor/Romance  
><strong>Words:<strong> 944

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><p>''This is not funny!''<p>

Sitting across from his panicked brother, Sam tried his best to keep his patience in line. It was not an easy thing to do in this case. Not at all. He blew out a breath and reached out to place a hand on Dean's arm. ''Nobody said it was funny,'' he said gently.

Dean jerked his thumb in the direction of the woman sitting next to him. ''She smirked. For your information,'' he growled hotly, leaning closer to her. ''This is a very real fear. Avophobia is a real thing and people can die from phobias.''

''It's _aviophobia_, dumbass,'' she sneered, keeping her eyes firmly on her magazine.

''Oh, well, excuse me. You know what?'' Dean huffed in offense and continued to grip his arm rests so tightly his knuckles were quickly turning white. ''You don't get to judge me for this. You don't get to judge me for my fear because your greatest fear is ventriloquist dummies, and that's just dumb. No pun intended.''

That seemed to get a rise out of her. Scowling angrily, she closed her magazine and turned flickering black eyes to Dean. ''They're unnatural, okay? They're unnatural, they're gateways for evil and do you even realize how easy it is to possess a creepy little doll?''

''Ruby,'' Sam hissed out anxiously, kicking at her seat while he glanced around. ''Keep your voice down.''

''Sam!'' Dean whipped back around to face his brother, teeth clenched' ''Sing to me.''

Sam blanched. ''Um...what?''

''It calms. Me. _Down_!''

''I don't think I'd feel comfortable with that.''

''Sing yourself a lullaby, you paranoid freak,'' Ruby grumbled, pulling open her magazine with so much force she nearly tore the poor thing in half.

In response, Dean sunk farther into his seat, squeezed his eyes shut and began to hum Metallica at an incredibly agitating volume. Sam lifted his gaze to the heavens and shook his head. At least the humming was better than the endless ramblings about the statistics of airplane crashes. Of course it didn't take long for the increasing volume of Dean's humming to become bothersome to the other people, who were now sending dirty looks at them. Sam checked his watch. Ruby looked like she was seriously considering knocking Dean unconscious just to get him to shut up.

But then the plane hit a spot of turbulence and...suffice to say that ceased Dean's humming. ''Oh my god, what the fuck was that?'' He shot out of his seat like a rocket, breathing coming in short, uneven bursts as he twirled in a circle. He looked, for lack of a better definition, like a dog chasing his tail. ''Are we going down? We're going to die. We're all going to _die!_''

''Jesus Christ,'' Ruby got out through clenched teeth, yanking Dean back into his seat. ''Don't make me restrain you, short bus.''

''It was just a little turbulence,'' Sam offered helpfully. ''Everything's fi - ''

''Hey, stewardess person,'' Dean grasped the sleeve of an incoming flight attendant, staring up at her with wide, fearful eyes. ''You got any alcohol?''

She paused like she was trying to determine whether or not he was serious. ''Sir - ''

''Scotch? Whiskey? Beer? Anything? How about a sedative? Got any of those? I could really use one of those. Oh, _forks!_ Do you have any forks?''

And that appeared to be the final straw for Ruby. Completely abandoning her plan to ignore Dean's idiosyncrasies, she grunted in frustration, tossed her magazine aside and then lazily declared, ''fuck it'' before she grabbed his shirt, pulled him to her and crashed her lips onto his. Dean's arms flailed helplessly for a second, nearly hitting Sam, and then he gave up and settled one hand on the small of her back while the other tangled in her hair. ...It didn't take Dean as long as it probably should have to melt into the kiss, and Sam couldn't even be bothered to act surprised. They weren't exactly flourishing at hiding their friends-with-benefits agreement they had working for them.

He shrugged and gave the flight attendant an apologetic smile. ''I think we're good.''

The kiss lasted longer than any kiss should in the presence of about thirty other people (those dirty looks had very quickly turned into disapproving raised eyebrows and the woman across from them gasped, scandalized, and covered her young son's eyes) and then Ruby abruptly shoved him away from her and pressed herself as far away from him as she could. While he sat back looking dazed and finally _silent_, she tapped her fingers on her leg, looking pensive. After a few seconds of apparent deep thinking, she brightened and leaned over to whisper something in Dean's ear. Then she took a deep breath, rose to her feet, pushed through them and calmly walked down the aisle.

Dean remained frozen in his seat, an unidentifiable look in his eyes. He blinked several times, licked his lips, opened his mouth to say something only to give up, and then a slow, goofy grin spread across his lips and he leaped to his feet, bouncing like an excited little child. ''I'm going to go to the_ bathroom _now!''

A few people turned to give him slightly confused looks. A man in a suit smirked behind his newspaper.

Before he could get very far, Dean turned back and leaned down to Sam's level. ''By the way, that's code for I'm going to go join the mile high club,'' he bragged.

''Yes, Dean,'' Sam sighed. ''I got that. Thanks for over sharing.''

Dean gave him the thumbs up and then turned and sauntered towards the bathroom.

Well...

...Whatever worked.

**end**


	6. Little House

_AN: Originally I was going to do ZOMBIES next (thanks to tinkster for that prompt) and then I was going to do REVENGE (thanks to HopeJalice4ever) and then this happened and I still don't know how it happened but it did._

_One quick note before I go on with the drabble-y thing: I have always really, really liked the song Little House by The Fray. It's awesome and yeah, I'll admit I have always thought of it as a Dean/Ruby song. Although to be fair, I can pretty much take any song and somehow loop it back to Dean/Ruby. But my theory on the song Little House by The Fray is that it signifies want and need and all of the things that we shouldn't want but that we DO want. It's a very panicked and frenzied sounding song. Panic is the thing that stands out to me the most about it and...there is definitely a certain degree of panic that comes with wanting something you know you shouldn't._

_Oh, also, ALSO...this little story could be seen as a prequel to __Everything You Want __about when their ''relationship'' first started._

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

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><p><strong>My Blue Heaven<strong>

_Written by Becks Rylynn_

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><p><em>6/_

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><p><strong>Title: <strong>_Crave  
><em>**Prompt: **Little House by The Fray (thanks to tinkster for the prompt)  
><strong>Rating: <strong>T  
><strong>Genre: <strong>Angst/Romance  
><strong>Words:<strong> 863

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><p><em>something is scratching its way out<em>

_something you want to forget about_

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><p>She is the algorithm he has been waiting for.<p>

It is not necessarily something surprising, but it is something that bothers him more than he cares to admit. She is the solution to the problem he has never been able to figure out, the answer he shouldn't know, the one woman he shouldn't want and the one woman he wants more than anything else in the world. He wants to take her apart and sew her back together again. He wants to curl his fingers into her hair and touch her skin just to know what it feels like and...and these are the things he shouldn't want. These are the things he should never want. Which is, again, relatively unsurprising.

Dean Winchester has always craved for things he cannot have. That is the story of his life. That is the road he walks. He is a rule breaker. A rebel. A wild soul drawn to all of the couldn'ts and shouldn'ts that make up the unchanged picture of life. And she is his new rebellion.

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><p>He is a fever that won't break.<p>

The world spins off of its axis when he's around, swirling, shaking, quaking, and he is the center of the destruction that pins her under the debris of her heart. She is new and whole again, a pretty young blonde to the outside world, but she feels _so_ old and _so_ tired. In all of the hundreds of years she has lived, she has never felt like this before. The blood that flows in her veins flows for him, the wind in her hair whispers his name, and she can't sleep at night because he's there when she closes her eyes. If she ever bothered to try, she could find another. Someone who is handsome enough, smart enough, funny enough, but never _enough. _Except that she doesn't want another. She wants him.

Ruby has a bad habit of breaking rules and crossing lines. It is her destiny. It's what she's made of. The fine lines between love and hate blur within time and that frightens her more than she will ever admit. She could break the world, she could break necks with a twist of her wrist, she could destroy everything those Winchester boys have given their lives to save, and he will still be the center of the universe. And he could be all she knows one day.

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><p>One night, they stop dancing.<p>

It is inevitable, really.

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><p>In a motel room in the middle of nowhere, he kisses her bare shoulder and trails his fingers up her thigh while she draws the sheets up to cover her body and stares up at the ceiling carefully like she's searching for absolution.<p>

''Stop,'' she whispers.

''Do you want me to stop?'' He pulls away and grazes his fingers over her neck, brushing hair away from her face while his other hand slips under the sheets. He runs his hand up and down her back until she shivers, and she won't look at him but she closes her eyes and sighs. ''We could mean - ''

She opens her eyes and whips around to glare at him. ''Nothing.''

''We aren't bad,'' he protests vehemently. ''This isn't _wrong_.''

Sadness twists her features into a grim smile and she touches his cheek with the back of her fingers lightly. She presses her body into his, the sheets pool around her waist and the motel walls scream at them, telling them that this is a sin. That they are _dirty_. ''You keep telling yourself that.''

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><p>Life is chalk full of things that cannot be and cravings that run deep and poison your bloodstream. They are just another craving that can never be. The world spins on and nobody notices the way they look at each other.<p>

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><p>The next time they see each other it's on a hunt. She waltzes in, all smirks and knives, and he looks at her for a long time, struggling to breathe. <em>I know how badly you hunger for her, Dean<em>, a voice rumbles from deep inside his subconscious. _That kind of hunger never goes away. _The voice sounds like_ Dad_, deep and judgmental. Dean pales in the moonlight. _You should never have that kind of hunger for something like her._

All very, very true.

But Dean breathes deeply and Ruby sighs tiredly and they both pretend it's not there.

''Hello, Ruby,'' he greets stiffly, locking eyes with her.

She tilts her head to the side. ''Hello, Dean.''

The craving goes deeper.

(They are an equation carved out of panic and need.

No, what they _are_ - and always will be - is inevitable.)

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><p><em>a part of you that you'll never show<em>

_you're the only one that'll ever know_

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><p><strong>end<strong>


	7. Glee Crossover

_AN: This one right here? It's weird. I'm warning you it is like crack ahoy! It's rushed and warped with an abrupt ending but this prompt was too good to ignore. Try not to take it seriously. Now, update time: I'm also working on a prompt from Duffster21 and the next part of Take Me Home (it's turning out...long and wacky.)_

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

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><p><strong>My Blue Heaven<strong>

_Written by Becks Rylynn_

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><p><em>7/_

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><p><strong>Title:<strong> _wayward daughter  
><em>**Prompt:** Glee/SPN; Quinn Fabray is Lila Bray Winchester  
><strong>Rating:<strong> K+  
><strong>Genre:<strong> Humor/Drama  
><strong>Words: <strong>3,557  
><strong>Notes: <strong>So, this is AU. Obviously. For the purpose of this story, Quinn never got pregnant and nothing much is known about her home life.

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><p>Her birth name is Lila Bray Winchester.<p>

Not Quinn, not Lucy, and there is certainly no Fabray in her (thank God. The Fabray's aren't very nice people, you know.) She has never been Quinn Fabray, daughter of Judy and Russell Fabray. She is, and always will be, Lila Bray Winchester, daughter of Ruby and Dean Winchester.

Ssshh, don't tell anyone.

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><p>She was fifteen when she and her brother were sent away for their own protection.<p>

She doesn't know much, she was never told that much, but the gist of it seems to be that something big and bad came after her and Connor, so they were sent away. She refuses to believe her parents knew their children would have to be gone for this long. It's been two and a half years. She doesn't want to think they knew she would have to be someone else for this long. It's been two and a half years since she was Bray, since she had the perfect parents and the perfect life; it's been over a year since she even saw her brother.

For two and a half years, she has been Quinn Fabray. That's a very long time to pretend. Sometime during those two and a half years, pretending started to become just..._life._ She's Quinn she can't remember who Lila Bray Winchester is. _Was._

The Fabray's are old friends of her grandfather's. Russell is an ex-marine turned hunter who agreed to take Bray in and keep her safe. He and Judy only had room for one child, so Connor was sent off somewhere else. Last time she saw him, he was living with some old friends of Mom's in Virginia.

Becoming Quinn wasn't a gradual thing. It happened quite suddenly, actually. She created Quinn for a reason, you see. See, Bray? She missed her parents terribly and cried herself to sleep at night because she felt like a horrible big sister for letting her brother get taken away from her. But Quinn Fabray? Quinn Fabray didn't need her parents or a sibling. Quinn Fabray only needed herself. ...And maybe a tiara 'cause Bray's always wondered what it would feel like to be prom queen. (What? Don't judge her for that. It's a perfectly natural thought process for a teenage girl.)

She mapped out Quinn Fabray, forged a paper trail back to Lucy Caboosey (which, she admits, was possibly a tad crude but she really only wanted to see if she could do it and hey, anyone could see that picture was totally - and kinda badly - photoshopped), and became someone else overnight. She got a new Quinn wardrobe, told Judy and Russell it was part of her cover, and locked Bray away somewhere in the back of her mind.

_Quinn Fabray _is the sort of girl_ Lila Bray _would want to punch in the throat. She's the sort of girl Bray's parents would be extremely disappointed in and Bray's brother would make fun of. Those are the cold hard facts. But Quinn Fabray (aka The Mask Lila Bray Uses to Protect Herself from Hurt) doesn't hurt like Lila Bray does so that makes her superior.

(Quinn Fabray is also cold and cruel and shallow, and she has pregnancy scares at sixteen because she had heard sex was supposed to make you forget (it, like...doesn't). Superior is perhaps not the word for Quinn Fabray.)

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><p>Quinn Fabray dissipates one day in glee.<p>

She won't be missed.

* * *

><p>On Tuesday afternoon, she's sitting in the far back of the choir room absently doodling on her notebook while the glee club waits for Mr. Schuester. (By the way, Bray would<em> not <em>like Mr. Schuester. He's not a very good teacher. Bray would, on the other hand, like Coach Sylvester. She'd have a weird amount of respect for the scary woman.) The chatter in the room is so noisy she doesn't hear Mr. Schue walk in until she hears him clear his throat and say, quietly, ''Quinn?''

He's using his gravely serious tone of voice so everybody shuts up and looks at him. He _is_ good at getting them to shut their traps, she will admit that. She looks up with a half smile, capping her pen. Her smile doesn't fade when she sees the look on Mr. Schue's face. He gets that look a lot. It doesn't fade when he says, all serious and whatnot, ''there's, um, there's someone here to see you.'' It does fade, however, when she shifts her attention to the man standing beside him.

Quinn starts to fade and seep through the cracks like faded wet colors the second she sees him standing there.

He looks pretty much the same. Maybe a little tired looking, but largely the same. He's still got the same smile, he still holds himself the way he has always held himself, he's still apparently handsome enough to make Santana smirk wickedly (and yes, it still disturbs her that girls her age look at him like that), etc. He's still the same person who used to chase away her nightmares. He's still _Dad_.

Dad smiles at her and waggles his fingers in a half wave. ''Hey, sugar.''

She swallows hard and the pen slips from her fingers, clattering to the floor. ''...Dad?''

There's a beat of silence in which everyone stares at her, and then Santana scoffs. ''Oh,_ hell _no. It's totally unfair you get the hot dad.''

Puck looks from her to her father, his eyebrows furrow in confusion and he repeats. ''That's your dad? I thought your dad was that dude with the nasty comb over.''

At that, Dad's lip curls in disgust. ''Fuck no, that's not her dad. _I'm_ her dad. Lila Bray, have you been telling people Russell Fabray is your dad? Doesn't that...'' He pauses. ''...Embarrass you? The dude's a judgmental prick.''

_Well, you're the one who left me with him,_ she wants to say. She wants to say, _yeah, you're right. You're totally better than Russell. You just abandon your kids. That's way better._ She would say it out loud if she could find her voice because these are the things she's been bottling up inside of her for years, but she can barely remember how to breathe let alone talk so she stays quiet.

Finn blinks. ''Who's Lila Bray?''

Okay, so is the room spinning or is it just her? _Bray's_ not exactly sure where to go from here but _Quinn_ has a rep to protect so she practically falls all over herself racing towards him. ''Dad,'' she grasps his arm and tries to ignore the blush creeping up her cheeks as the gaggle of Gleeks gape at her like they don't even know her. Which...they don't, really, but that's beside the point. ''Can we talk outside?''

He shrugs his shoulders, looking mildly disappointed. ''Well, I guess, but...'' He smirks at her. ''...I kinda wanted to hear you sing.''

_''Dad.''_

He holds his hands up in surrender and lets her push him out into the relatively safe empty hallway. Once she has regained control of her breathing and there are no longer a bunch of very dramatic singing teenagers staring at her, she narrows her eyes, puts her hands on her hips and can't decide whether or not this is Quinn or Bray taking control. ''What are you doing here?''

He frowns curiously and leans closer to her, brushing hair away from her eyes. ''Are you wearing colored contacts? Where are your mother's eyes? Your eyes aren't green. What's goin' on here?''

''Dad,'' she swats his hands away. ''I asked you a question.''

''Yes, you did. I'm waiting for your tone to change.''

''Oh, I'm sorry,'' she sneers. ''What tone would you like me to use, _Daddy? _Exuberant joy? Pleasantly surprised? How about my_ I don't care that you abandoned me _voice? You still waitin' for a tone change, Dad? Well, you're gonna be waiting a long time!''

He reacts as if he has been physically assaulted. There's hurt and guilt shining brightly in his eyes and Bray might feel a small smidge of regret, but Quinn, the HBIC, does not. Dad folds his arms over his chest and gives her the exact same look he gave her when she was twelve and she tried to guilt trip him into buying her new shoes. It's not an overly impressed look. ''We didn't abandon you, Lila Bray,'' he says quietly. ''We kept you safe. It hurt like a bitch but we did it for your own good.''

''You took me away from my life!''

''What else were we supposed to do? Let you die?''

She snorts and looks away from him. ''I would've been fine.''

''We did what we had to do.'' His voice sounds ragged and tired. There are dark circles under his eyes and his lips are turned down in a sad looking frown. She has a whole bunch of bitterness all cooped up inside of her, but...she really wants to just hug her dad right now. Quinn won't let her. ...Yeah, um, this whole Quinn/Bray thing is starting to freak her out a little. She thinks she might've really fucked up her internal wiring. It's really hard to distinguish between Quinn and Bray these days. ''We called you every week,'' Dad says. ''We sent you letters, we visited as much as we could, and we ran ourselves ragged trying to end this thing so we could take you home. Seriously, look at me. I look_ old. _And I'm not that old! It wasn't supposed to be like this but you know what, sugar? Shit storms happen.''

Her shoulders sag under the weight of Quinn and Bray, the way things used to be and the way things are now. ''What are you doing here?'' She repeats, softer this time.

''It's over now, Lila Bray,'' he says quietly, after a moment of silence. ''Everything's okay now. We wanted to know if you'd like to come home.''

She stares at him for a second, trying to determine if he's kidding or not. There is a very familiar heaviness in her chest and there's a pricking behind her eyes that she can't control. She can't come up with the words to respond to that, so she decides to run away instead. He's wrong. He's so wrong. It's been two and a half years. She's built a whole new personality to escape what they did to her by leaving. Nothing is okay. She turns on her heel and stops short when she nearly runs right into her mother.

She freezes, looks at Mom, looks back at Dad and then runs away.

That move right there? That is _all _Bray.

* * *

><p>She's been in Glee possibly a little too long. She figures that out when her first instinct is to sing a song about all the ways her parents hurt her by leaving. She thinks that might be a little weird. She totally does it anyway.<em> Hey.<em> Dad did say he wanted to hear her sing. She gets Mr. Schue to invite them to the next Glee practice, fully intending to unleash her Winchester fury on them in the form of a song, which Rachel highly endorses.

Nothing really goes as planned when you're a Winchester.

* * *

><p>Mom arrives before Dad and tries to talk to her. Bray ignores her and Quinn sticks her nose up in the air. Whoa. Getting confusing. She puts on her mask and surrounds herself with ice. But then Puck, fresh from his break up with Lauren, sidles up to Mom with a suggestive eyebrow waggle and introduces himself as Puckasauras.<p>

Bray breaks her self-imposed silence. It's incredibly disturbing to see the guy you lost your virginity to hitting on your mother. She doesn't recommend ever witnessing that. ''OH MY GOD, NO!'' She pokes at his chest, pushing him away from her mother. ''No, no, no, _no. _You are not going to hit on my mother!''

''Highly flattering, though,'' Mom says, flicking her hair over her shoulder. ''Nice to know I've still got it.''

''Oh, you've got it, baby. Listen, Quinn - ''

''Bray,'' Mom corrects.

''Whatevs. Can you really blame me?'' Puck asks flippantly. ''I mean, those are some damn fine genes.''

Bray opens her mouth to snap at him but snaps it shut when she looks over his shoulder.

When nobody -_ nobody _- laughs or murmurs or says anything about Puck's comment, his arrogant smirk slips and he pales drastically. ''...Your dad's right behind me, isn't he?''

* * *

><p>In the auditorium, Dad, who is being kept away from Puck for obvious safety reasons, grins and tries to pull Mom onto his lap. She smacks him and takes a seat in between him and Mr. Schue, crossing her legs demurely. ''All right, baby girl,'' Dad says. ''Lay it on us. Let's see if you got your parents singing talent.''<p>

Mr. Schue's eyes positively thrill at that. ''You two can sing?''

''Um,'' Bray taps the microphone on the stage. ''Mr. Schue, can you not recruit my parents for oddly overdone numbers in a high school auditorium?''

So, anyway. Her plan. Yes, right. She announces to her parents that she is going to sing this song for them and that it represents how she feels about them coming back into her life after two and a half years. The Gleeks all gasp dramatically when she says this. Dad turns around to face them and says, ''Seriously? Why don't you kids just go watch TV or something?''

Bray (so yeah, Quinn's disappearing) sings with anger. She has got a lot of anger. More than enough to spare for some silly song. She gets about halfway through _Jar of Hearts _with Brad backing her on the piano and then Mom pulls a face and stands abruptly. ''Whoa, whoa, whoa!'' She holds her hands up. ''Bray,'' she speaks slowly, like Bray is three years old again. ''Honey, this is a breakup song. You don't find it a little inappropriate to be singing it to us?''

''Yeah,'' Dad nods. ''It's a little creepy to sing your parents a break up song.''

''Kid,'' Mom pushes past Dad and down the steps. ''I'm going to be blunt with you, okay? Your dad and I think you're acting like a whiny little brat.''

The Gleeks gasp again.

Dad cranes his neck to look at them. ''Really? _Really?_''

''Oh!'' Mr. Schue leaps to his feet, trying to put himself in the middle of something that is none of his business. Again. ''With all due respect Mr. and Mrs...''

''Winchester,'' Dad supplies, putting his feet up on the chair in front of him.

''Like the rifle?''

''Yeah, actually. Wow. You blow my mind, teacher man. I have never heard that one before.''

''With all due respect,'' Mr. Schue continues, standing in between Bray, up on stage with her arms crossed, and her mother, in the audience...with her arms crossed. Not hard to see the family resemblance. ''Your daughter is trying to tell you something and you're - ''

''If she has something to say to us, she can goddamn well use her words like normal people do,'' Mom gripes. ''And by that I mean _her_ words. Not Christina Perri's. Listen, I get it. You're pissed. You feel abandoned. That's your right. We could've been better parents these past few years. And you can be as pissed and as hurt as you want about us sending you here. It's understandable. But don't you dare stand there and act like it hurt you more than it hurt us. You think it was an easy decision for us? We _gave up our children._ We let other people raise you and your brother. Sending you kids away was the hardest thing we ever had to do. It killed us. But we had to do it. Don't you see that? You would've gotten hurt if you had stayed with us. You would've gotten _dead._''

Cue more gasps. Dad leaps to his feet and whirls around to face the other Glee clubbers. ''It's a nice day out, kids! Why don't you go play outside? This is a family matter and you're not...Are you all eating popcorn? This isn't a fucking telenovela, children!'' He throws a look over his shoulder towards his daughter. ''Holy shit, sugar, what the fuck have you gotten yourself into?''

''_Language_, Mr. Winchester,'' Mr. Schue reminds him. ''You're in a school building.''

''Yeah, a really fucking weird one.''

''We needed you to be safe, baby,'' Mom says softly, taking a step towards the stage. ''We needed to know you were protected. And you could've gone to Virginia. You knew you could've gone to Virginia. When you went there that summer, we all agreed you could live there if it would make you happier. I wanted you to say yes. I wanted you and your brother to be together. I wanted you to find some sort of happiness when we couldn't be there. But you chose to come to Ohio and be Quinn.''

''Speaking of this Quinn chick,'' Dad adds on, weaving around Mr. Schue. ''This girl you've created is incredibly angry and bitter and she's allowed to be because...well, because she's a teenager and teenagers are annoying as shit. But she needs parents. More than anything, she needs parents.'' He comes to stand next to Mom and their hands brush. Bray has really missed those blink-and-you-miss-it PDA moments. ''You wanna be Quinn, that's fine,'' Dad goes on. ''We'll all learn to adjust. You wanna go back to being Lila Bray, that's fine too. We will get through this as a family. But either way we're still gonna be your parents and right now your parents are telling you that you are acting like a brat. Deal with it, sister.''

''So, what's it gonna be?'' Mom asks. ''We're going to get your brother from Virginia and then we're going home. Are you in or are you out? We promise, we'll let you sulk for as long as you want. That's what teenagers do, right? Piss and moan? Feel free to do that until you turn twenty one and can go get drunk instead.''

''Also,'' Dad tacks on. ''You're a pretty awesome singer.'' He smiles proudly, bouncing on the balls of his feet. ''You probably get that from me.''

''We love you, Bray,'' Mom pleads. ''And that will never change. But you _have_ to pick. Quinn or Bray? Who do you want to be?''

''I hate to interrupt,'' Mr. Schue says. ''But Nationals - ''

''I don't much like you, Curly,'' Dad says. ''I sort of feel like joining that legion of doom I heard the woman in the tracksuit talking about.''

There's a burst of rowdy, knee slapping laughter from Puck and Sam while Rachel, sandwiched in between them, shakes her head and buries her face in her hands.

Bray heaves a sigh into the mic.

Well, moment of truth then.

''We have Nationals coming up in New York,'' she informs her parents bluntly. ''It wouldn't be fair of me to just leave these guys hanging. But after that...'' She looks around the auditorium, up at the Gleeks, down at Mr. Schue, and then she looks at her parents. She's still full of coiled anger and hurt. But her parents are also still her whole entire world so...it doesn't really matter how pissed off she is or how long she drags this out for. It's going to end the same way. ''I'll go home and be Bray again.'' She smiles tentatively. ''I've missed her. Quinn's kind of a bitch.'' True dat.

Hesitantly, even though they have no idea what has just transpired, one of the Gleeks starts to clap. Then the others join in, sounding slightly disjointed and out of place. Dad sighs heavily and turns around to frown at them. ''Guys, seriously?'' He throws his arms out. ''None of you even know what the fuck just happened.''

''I do!'' Rachel stands, holding up a notebook with pride. ''I made notes.''

''Wait, I'm confused,'' Brittany wrinkles her nose. ''Are there two Quinns? Is she going to split in two? Why don't we keep one and the other can go back with her parents?''

''Is this like a multiple personality thing?'' Finn asks.

Kurt frowns. ''Like in Sybil?''

Dad shakes his head in what looks to be deep, deep shame. ''Jesus Christ,'' she hears him say. ''Those kids need to spend less time singing.''

* * *

><p>At Nationals, her parents are front and center with the rest of the family she has been sorely missing.<p>

After they win and she has been hugged tight by every member of the Glee club, she goes back to her parents in the audience. ''You did great, baby girl,'' Mom says. Then she adds on, somewhat smugly. ''And your dad totally cried.''

''I did not!'' Dad denies hotly. ''I wasn't...There was...dust and it...But I wasn't...'' He gives up and shakes his head while a small smile splays itself over his lips. ''Hi, sugar. You rocked. Are you too cool to go out for dinner with your mom and dad?''

Bray pauses a second, and then flies at her father, launching herself into his arms and wrapping her arms around his neck. It doesn't make up for the two and a half years Bray was locked away while Quinn ran the show.

But it's at least a start.

**end**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: ...I'm thinking I might do a companion that shows how Connor spent his two years chillin' with the Salvatore vamps in Mystic Falls.<strong>


	8. 413: After School Special

_AN: And I'm back from my vacation with a little Lila Bray 'verse oneshot! This one was actually started way back in...May-ish? I think. Anyway, I was talking to my friend Amanda and I'm not sure what we were talking about or how we got on the topic of Dean's outfit in ''After School Special'' but all I remember clearly is that she said, ''All I see is Ruby laughing at Dean's shorts'' and thus, this was born. It kind of sat unfinished on my computer for the longest time, but I found it today and decided to finish it so here we are. _

_Also, for those of you wondering, I'm working hard to get a new chapter of ''you're my playground love'' up sometime this weekend and I'm also working hard on chapter fifteen of ''Everything You Want.'' Sadly, I didn't have as much time to write this summer as I thought I would, but I'll get everything done somehow._

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

* * *

><p><strong>My Blue Heaven<strong>

_Written by Becks Rylynn_

* * *

><p><em>8/_

* * *

><p><strong>Title:<strong>_ I'll be your girl backstage at your show  
><em>**Prompt: **4.13: After School Special;_ ''All I see is Ruby laughing at Dean's shorts'' _- Amanda (**Daddy's LiL HeartBreaker**)  
><strong>CharactersPairing(s):** Dean/Ruby, Lila Bray.  
><strong>Rating:<strong> K+  
><strong>Genre: <strong>Humor/Romance.  
><strong>Words:<strong> 1,333  
><strong>Notes:<strong> Lila Bray 'verse. Title from the song_ Paparazzi _by Lady Gaga.

* * *

><p>The life of a substitute gym teacher is a tedious one.<p>

And the shorts chaff in places. It's unpleasant.

He's trying to be patient with Sam on this case. He's not at all sure that it's working, but he _is_ trying. Dean's memories of this particular high school aren't all that super, but Sam is...Sam is different. Truth be told, Dean isn't enjoying whatever seems to be happening to his relationship with his brother. There's a certain feeling of disintegration that has wormed its way into their lives, and Dean doesn't like it one bit, so if he has to stand in this stupid school again and play teacher just to feel like things aren't completely falling apart then that is what he will do.

In between crowds of mouthy little midgets pelting each other with balls (heh), Dean is standing in the gym, absently humming Metallica to himself. Then the lights flicker. It's only for a brief second and it could very well be just a simple electrical issue, but Dean's brain isn't wired to believe in electrical issues. He straightens, body tensing noticeably. It's while he's eyeing the empty space in front of him that he feels the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Swallowing down a sigh, he whirls around...and suddenly becomes very aware that he looks like a doofus.

He lets loose a nervous sounding laugh, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. ''Oh, uh...'' He clears his throat. ''...Hi, girls.''

Ruby gapes at him for several seconds with her mouth hanging open. Even Bray, swaddled in blankets in her carrier, seems to be mocking him with her mother's eyes.

''So,'' he bounces on the balls of his feet and crosses his arms over his chest. ''How're you doin'?''

Ruby shakes her head, sighs lowly, and lowers her head ever so slightly, just enough to peer up at him through her eyelashes.

''What are you doing here?''

Instead of answering, Ruby whips out her phone before he has a chance to hide and snaps a picture of him. He heaves a sigh. Probably should have seen that one coming. A bright smile breaks out on her face as she stares down at the picture. ''Oh, man, this is gonna be next year's Christmas card. No, wait. Screw that. I'm sending this to everyone we know right now.'' Eyes widening, Dean makes a desperate grab for the phone. She hands him the baby carrier instead - Bray is still staring up at him like she thinks he's the biggest moron there ever was, by the way. But that might just be gas - and dodges artfully out of the way, eyes on her phone. ''I'm going to send this to Bobby, Rufus, Ellen and - _Jo. _Oh my god, Jo needs to see this. There's no way she'll continue to lust after you if she sees you like this. And Cas!'' She giggles wickedly, animatedly pressing buttons on her phone. ''Cas needs to see this! He won't understand it, of course, but still...''

''Ruby - ''

''You look like a really dorky Chippendale dancer,'' she laughs.

He pinches the bridge of his nose. ''I don't know what made you so cruel,'' he says hotly.

''Aww, somebody's shorts are bunched up - '' She breaks off in a gasp, eyes practically bugging out of their sockets. ''Look at your whistle!'' Dissolving into laughter again, she stumbles forwards to wrap her arms around him, fingers playing with the whistle around his neck. ''A person could go mad with this kind of power,'' she says sagely. ''You better be careful. Bray,'' she turns her gaze to the baby in the carrier. ''These are your genes. Aren't you proud? Honestly, Dean,'' she shakes her head, clicking her tongue in mock disappointment. ''How do you manage to get yourself into these situations? Are you seriously this willing to be a goofball?''

Always.

''Yeah, yeah,'' he wraps an arm around her, pulling her closer to him. ''Yuk it up, Blondie. One of these days, you'll be the one in the embarrassing outfit and I'll be the one laughing.''

''Hmm. Is that so?''

''It's gonna happen. It happens to all of us.''

''Oh! Video!'' Her sudden yelp startles him into drawing away from her and the second he does, she pushes away from him, eyes lighting up with that mischievous and slightly stark raving mad look. Ignoring the look on his face, she takes Bray from him, pulls out her phone again and points it at him. ''Okay, Dean,'' she says. ''Is there anything you'd like to say to the internet?''

''You're crazy,'' he spits.

''Come on! Strike a pose for YouTube.''

''Yeah, plaster my face all over the internet,'' he nods. ''Good idea. 'Cause it's not like I'm legally dead or anything.''

''Good point. I'll have to remember to talk to Cas about erasing your legal records.''

He arches an eyebrow. ''You'd do all that just to - ''

''Put this monstrosity of an outfit on the internet so that billions of people can make fun of you? Yep. Sure would.''

''I don't know what I see in you,'' he sniffs, sticking his nose up in the air.

''I gave birth to your spawn less than two months ago,'' she reminds him.

''Right. The spawn.'' He shakes his head and looks over at Bray. ''Look what you've done.''

Ruby would respond, but she's too busy fiddling with her phone to pay much attention to what he's doing. ''And,'' she presses one last button on her phone and her eyes light up excitedly. ''Sent.''

(At the end of the case, Ruby meets him by the school with a whistle hanging from her finger and says, ''I thought you'd want to keep a souvenir.'')

* * *

><p>A couple weeks later, the Harvelles are passing through South Dakota on their way to the hunt at the same time the Winchester Clan is passing through on their way to a hunt in the other direction, so they all end up meeting up at Bobby's, and Dean has learned that things always seem to go a little haywire when the Harvelles are passing through. The last time they passed through, Ruby went into labor. So, anyway, the Harvelles are passing through. Bobby, Sam and Ruby are the first ones to greet them because he's upstairs changing Bray's diaper. When he comes downstairs to greet them, Jo and Ruby are talking and whispering, giggling silently over in the corner.<p>

It is never a good sign when those two are getting along.

Before he has a chance to open his mouth, Jo is bouncing up to him with her phone in her hands. ''Hi, Dean!'' She chirps cheerfully. ''Wanna see my new screensaver?''

He leans away from her suspiciously. ''Why?''

She shrugs. ''Just 'cause.'' She looks down at her cell phone, presses a button, and turns it around to show him.

He pales drastically and looks over her shoulder at Ruby, whose entire body is folded in laughter. For a moment, he weighs his options. One the one hand, she hasn't laughed like that in ages and it is nice to see her laugh. On the other hand, she took a picture of him in what has to be the most embarrassing outfit on the planet and sent it to everyone they know. ''Jo,'' he says calmly. ''Will you hold Lila Bray for a second?''

''I...'' Looking slightly disappointed at his non reaction, she accepts the baby he hands her somewhat awkwardly. ''...Okay.''

Dean steps past Jo and points an accusing finger in Ruby's direction. ''You,'' he warns lowly, ''better run.''

Shrieking in laughter, she whirls around the second he makes a move for her and darts away from him. He races after her and they both disappear out the back door, the sound of Ruby's shrieking laughter echoing through the cold air.

Jo blinks after them and then looks down at the baby in her arms. ''Don't worry,'' she tells the wide-eyed baby. ''Daddy's just makin' Mommy run laps.''

**end**


	9. 602: Two and a Half Men

_AN: Yeah, another one. Just so you know, I've got, like, two more meaningless oneshots this close to being ready for upload for this collection._

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

* * *

><p><strong>My Blue Heaven<strong>

_Written by Becks Rylynn_

* * *

><p><em>9/_

* * *

><p><strong>Title:<strong>_ With the Laughing Face  
><em>**Prompt: **6.02; Two and a Half Men  
><strong>CharactersPairing(s):** Dean. Lila Bray. Shapeshifter!Bobby John from 6.02. Ben. Ruby. Lisa. Teeny tiny bit of Sam.  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T  
><strong>Genre: <strong>Humor/Drama  
><strong>Words: <strong>3,618  
><strong>Notes:<strong> Lila Bray 'verse. Title from the song _Nancy (With the Laughing Face) _by Frank Sinatra (which isn't _really_ a song written about Frank's daughter, but it was commonly believed to be about Nancy Sinatra so the original writers of the song just kind of let it slide and then the myth grew).

* * *

><p>Taking care of a baby is old news. He's a father. He's been a father for years now. God, it feels like he's been a father <em>forever<em>. First Sam, now Bray. He's well versed in the paternal world of nurturing and that ever present..._stickiness. _He can change a diaper half asleep and one handed, calm a temper tantrum without breaking a sweat, and catch a tiny little mischief maker going for the cookie jar from another room. He can handle baby poop, spit up, tears, the aforementioned stickiness (because small children are, for some reason, almost always sticky) and all that jazz. But what he doesn't know how to handle is a _shapeshifter_ baby.

It sure as hell ain't the weirdest thing he's ever seen, that's for sure, but it's definitely up there on the list. Oh no, wait. That sounds cruel. Not_ it. _He. The little dude is a _he_. At least until he decides he'd rather be a she for awhile and sprays everyone with shapeshifter skin goo in order to be a pretty girl.

...Okay, so it might be the weirdest thing he's seen.

In a long while at least.

* * *

><p>Dean really, <em>really<em> wishes Ruby were here.

When Lisa had first brought up the idea of taking Ruby to a spa for a girl's weekend a few weeks before Sam came waltzing back into their lives, Dean had been all for it. And when Lisa brought it up again after being re-introduced to Sam, Dean was still on board. Ruby was so tired what with work and Bray and he thought it would be nice for her. He was trying to do a nice thing for her! He was trying to be a nice guy and this is what he gets in return? The point is that it had been _Ruby_ who needed to be convinced. Dean had mistakenly thought things would be easy. They were just going to be gone for a weekend. So what if that left him with two kids to watch? That was okay. He could take care of Bray in his sleep and Ben had to be one of the most easygoing kids on the face of the earth. It was no big deal, he had thought.

But then the universe apparently decided to remind him just how much it hated him.

So that's how he got here.

''Well,'' Dean begins slowly, peering around the corner into the living room at the two babies on the blanket. ''This is -This is okay,'' he says with a nervous laugh. ''Things aren't goin' too terribly, are they?'' He shifts his gaze to Ben, wincing when he takes in the boy's wide-eyed stunned look. ''We got everything cleaned up,'' Dean says weakly.

Ben blinks and tears his eyes away from the babies, looking at Dean with his mouth agape. ''Dean,'' he deadpans. ''That baby used to be a different color.''

Dean sighs. ''...Yeah...''

''A different _color!_''

''Yeah, I know, Ben. I was there.''

Ben frowns and the stunned look falls away, replaced by mild annoyance, arms crossed over his chest. ''This is not what I signed up for when I offered to help you babysit.''

Anxiously, Dean peers around the corner again and when he catches sight of his daughter and her 'tude, he steps out from behind the corner. ''Lila Bray,'' he says sternly. ''Don't bogart the toys.''

Bray, who does not appear to like the fact that she is being forced to share the spotlight with another baby, looks at her father with a wrinkled nose and a glare. She looks so much like her mother right now that it's not even funny. It's just creepy.

''Share,'' he tells her patiently.

Eyes still firmly on her father, she picks up a toy block, runs her fingers across it, and then she chucks it at the other baby, who has been coined Bobby John. At least for now. The block - luckily it's a stuffed block and not one of those hard plastic ones that she likes to chew on - bounces off Bobby John's chest and lands noiselessly on the blanket. Bray giggles. Sadistic little chickadee, isn't she?

Ben coughs to cover a laugh.

Dean groans loudly. ''Damn it, Lila Bray,'' he strides forwards to pick her up off the blanket, swinging her onto his hip. ''Why do you have to be such a brat around other babies? Honestly. This is why we had to take you out of daycare, you know.'' He crouches down next to the blanket to pick up his daughter's favourite stuffed zebra (who Ruby has proudly named Bartholomew ''but you can call him Bart'' Winchester) and hands it to Bobby John, much to Bray's dismay. ''Here you go, little dude. You can play with this guy for awhile.'' He waits until pudgy little hands grip the stuffed animal and then he stands, turning his attention back to Bray and her watery eyes and wobbling lips. ''Well, sugar,'' he shrugs, ''this is what you get for being a pest.''

Frustrated and in dire need of her afternoon nap, Bray lets out a vehement screech of ''no!'' and whacks her father on the side of the head.

''Hey!'' He yelps, catching her hand before she can thwack him again. ''You do _not_ hit people. Jesus, what do you have against sharing?''

''No share!

''Yes share!''

''NO!'' She squirms and wriggles in his arms, reaching out for her precious Bartholomew, who is now being chewed on by the very content Bobby John. ''No baby! Bad baby!''

''Hey, hey, hey, relax, sugar. We'll wash him after the kiddo's done with him. You'll get Bart back, I promise. Don't have a cow, man.''

This does not appease Bray.

At the sight of her most prized possession being chewed on by a cute baby who is not her (and it must _really _floor her that there are other cute babies out there because when Dean first brought home the littlest stray, she edged around him with Bart clutched in her arms and her eyes narrowed like she was a wary cat getting ready to pounce and then she scowled and poked him on the face, declaring loudly, ''Go away, bad baby'') Bray lets loose an ear splitting scream and starts to cry, trying her best to throw herself out of her father's strong arms. ''Mine!'' She shrieks. ''Mine! Mine, Daddy!''

''Uh, Dean - ''

Barely able to hear Ben over the sound of Bray's unhappy squeals, Dean steps away from Bobby John, all of his focus on his daughter. The girl is absolutely losing her shit right now. He's embarrassed for her. Really, he is. When she starts to kick and punch at him, little fists and feet going like she's fighting off stranger danger, he decides enough is enough ''All right, that's it!'' He snaps out. ''You're goin' in time out. I know Mommy's usually the one who puts you in time out and Daddy's usually the one who breaks you out, but you're grating my cheese right now, girl.''

''No! No time out!''

''You bet your damn ass you're goin' in time out. This is what you get.'' He throws a look over his shoulder at Bobby John, who's happily chewing away on Bartholomew, and then he looks at Ben. ''Dude, can you watch Bobby John for a minute?''

Ben crosses his arms and stares up at Dean with an unimpressed arched eyebrow. ''Is that _really _what you're calling him?''

''Tell you what,'' Dean says loudly over Bray's hollers, holding her away from him as she kicks and punches. ''You can name him whatever the hell you want if you just watch him while I put Little Miss Attitude in her room.''

Ben appears to think about that for a moment before nodding. ''Deal.'' Then he smirks. Dean thinks he might have made an enormous mistake. Well...hey. As long as Ben doesn't name the kid Pilot Inspektor, they're all good.

(As soon as Dean is out of the room, Ben turns to the baby, smirks and says, ''I'm going to name you Lars. After the greatest drummer in the world.'')

* * *

><p>''Listen to me,'' Dean says quietly, crouched in front of his tearful daughter. ''You cannot behave like this, sugar.''<p>

In response, Bray pouts and folds her arm. Her gaze is lowered to the ground and her bottom lip is jutted out as she sniffles miserably. He is well aware that he is beyond lucky that he is, by now, immune to her charms. At this moment in time, the brattiness outweighs the adorableness. ''I want my Bartie,'' she mumbles.

''Well, you'll get him back when you start behaving like a good girl,'' he tells her, gently wiping the tears off her face with a tissue.

''Want him _now_.''

''Too bad.'' He wipes at her runny nose. ''Blow.''

Still glaring, she reluctantly complies, blowing her nose in the tissue. However, as soon as he turns his back to throw the tissue away, she tries to make a break for it, running for the door. Catching sight of her racing for the door in his peripheral vision, he dives for her, catching her around the waist with some difficulty. Unfortunately, he loses his balance and goes crashing onto his back. In retribution, she curls her hand into a fist and throws a wild punch that connects with his jaw. It's a good thing she didn't inherit her mother's strength. That would have been unfortunate. Grumbling under his breath, he rises to his feet with her thrown over his shoulder and puts her on her bed. Instead of trying to run, she bites down on her lip and kicks at her bed angrily, pouting with her arms folded over her chest. Well, it's progress at least.

Dean rubs his jaw and looks down at her. She refuses to meet his eyes. ''Well, congratulations, Bray,'' he says, making sure his voice is low and disappointed. She looks up at him with wide eyes when he calls her Bray, shrinking back against her bed slightly. Most children realize they're in deep shit when they get the full name. She knows she's gone too far when she _doesn't_ get the full name. ''You've just earned yourself some extra time in the pokey,'' he finishes. ''Hope you're proud of yourself.''

She wisely ducks her head, looking guilty as she swipes at the tears on her cheeks.

''Violence,'' he starts, ''is never the answer.'' Then he pauses and replays those words in his head. ''Heh,'' he chuckles, shaking his head. ''Did I just say that? Yes,'' he points a finger at her. ''I did. Because it's true. It is never okay to hit people. ...Unless they're demons.''

''Mommy does it,'' she whispers.

''Newsflash, pint sized, Mommy's a _psychopath._ How many times have we told you that you are never allowed to do anything we do? Your life is not a giant game of follow the leader. You are not Mommy and you are not Daddy. You're Lila Bray. You're not even three yet, for Christ's sake.'' He rubs at his forehead tiredly. ''Fuck, I'll be glad when the terrible twos are over.''

''Mommy - ''

''Yeah, yeah, Mommy says don't swear.''

''HOLY SHIT!''

Yep. Uh-huh. Sounds about right.

The sound of Ben's voice brings a sigh bubbling up to the surface and Dean runs a hand over his face, hanging his head.

''DEAN! HE'S DOING STUFF!''

Dean sucks in a breath. ''All right, sugar,'' he says, ''you know the routine. Sit. Stare. Think about what you've done. Throw a half-assed apology back at me when your time's up. I'll come get you when you're done. I think I gotta go clean up more slime.'' He heaves out another sigh as he turns around, grasping the doorknob. ''Or shit,'' he adds on as an afterthought. ''Any way you slice it,'' he mutters under his breath. ''This is gonna suck.''

* * *

><p>Dean comes skidding to a halt in the doorway to the living room and instantly freezes up, jaw dropping to the floor. Okay, so he hadn't exactly been expecting this.<p>

Ben, who looks eternally thankful that he had been out of the splash zone, looks over at Dean and holds his hands up in surrender. ''I had nothing to do with it.''

Dean can't take his eyes off the baby sitting on the blanket, blissfully unaware of the fact that Dean and Ben were both internally flipping out right now. Slowly, Dean inches forwards, mouth still agape. Eventually, he lifts his eyes from the baby who now looks identical to the PO'd little girl upstairs to Ben. ''Huh,'' he says. ''Well, this ain't good.''

* * *

><p>''That place should be sued,'' Ruby declares hotly, throwing her bag over her shoulder and slamming the trunk of Lisa's car closed.<p>

''I think I still have mud in my ears from the hot mud bath,'' Lisa mutters under her breath, tapping the side of her head comically. ''God, that stuff _stunk_.''

Ruby stares at the comical image in front of her, and then shakes her head and rolls her eyes. ''You're gonna knock somethin' loose up there,'' she warns, starting up the path towards her house.

''Ruby...'' Lisa gives up on attempting to clean out the mud in her ears and picks up her bag off the ground, hurrying after her friend. ''Ruby, I'm so sorry,'' she says genuinely. ''I didn't know that place was going to be such a dive. I swear, when I saw pictures of the facility, it looked completely different. For starters, it looked cleaner.'' She shudders, trying in vain to block out the memories of the truly, truly awful _spa_ they had gone to. That place didn't even deserve to be called a spa. It was a dump. Plain and simple. ''Their website lied.''

''Of course their website lied,'' Ruby fires back, whirling around to face Lisa the moment she's made it up the steps and onto the porch. ''That's why companies like that make a website.''

Lisa grimaces. ''Does this mean you're never going to go on a girl's weekend ever again? Because it took Dean and I a _really _long time to make you see the benefits of a weekend away from being mom and wife and I don't want all that progress to be lost.''

''No,'' Ruby deadpans. ''It means that next time you want to go away, I'm picking the place.''

Lisa nods, smiling brightly. It's only as Ruby's unlocking the front door and stepping inside that she realizes what this means. ''Wait!'' Her eyes widen in horror and she struggles to hurry after Ruby, pulling her much too heavy suitcase after her. (Lisa's not a light packer. She will wholeheartedly own up to that. ''I pack like a _girl_,'' was her protest to her son when it took both of them to carry it out to the car. ''Don't blame me for that. Ruby packs like a guy. That's not my fault.'') ''Does that mean that the next time we go somewhere, we'll be going to some sort of, like, shooting range?''

''I don't like guns.''

Still struggling to get her suitcase up the steps, Lisa's frustration is quickly growing, and when she hears Ben's voice from inside the house calling out, ''Ruby! W-What are you doing back so early?'' she decides to abandon her baggage and get Dean to lug it in later. He's big and strong and chivalrous. He'll do it. She lets go of the suitcase, jumps back when it violently falls back down the step she has managed to get it up, and then pushes dark hair out of her eyes, following Ruby into the house.

Inside the house, Ruby is already in the living room, greeting Ben with a ruffle of his hair and Bray with a kiss on the forehead before dropping her bag on the couch and collapsing next to it. Ben, for some reason, looks like a deer in headlights. Lisa knows that look. That's his _I did something bad _look. ''W-What are you guys doing back home so early?'' He asks, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, pulling Bray back onto the blanket on the ground.

''Your mother has awful taste in spas,'' Ruby explains flippantly, before smiling widely and holding her arms out to Bray. ''Hey, I haven't gotten a hug yet. Come here, baby.''

Bray stares at her mother blankly, as if she doesn't even recognize her and looks at Ben for guidance. Ben laughs nervously. ''Ummm...''

''Ruby?''

Both Lisa and Ruby turn towards the sound of Dean's voice. And then they both instantly have to do a double take, looking back and forth between the little girl in his arms and the identical little girl on the blanket next to Ben. Lisa's eyes widen and she points at the Bray on the blanket and then at the Bray in Dean's arms. ''AH!''

Ruby sighs and collapses back against the couch cushions. ''Oh, dear.''

Dean nods. ''Pretty much, yeah.''

* * *

><p>''Okay.'' Ruby rubs at her temples, keeping her daughter (her actual daughter; she checked...many times) securely on her lap. ''All we have to do is keep real Bray away from...what was his name?''<p>

''Lars,'' Dean says.

''Right. Lars.'' She pauses, wrinkling her nose. ''Lars? Really?''

''Ben named him after Lars Ulrich.''

''I don't know who that is.''

''He's from Metallica.''

''Yeah,'' she waves her hand. ''I didn't ask. All we have to do,'' she repeats, ''is keep real Bray away from _Lars_ until he changes back. I mean, he can't stay like this forever, right?'' Her eyes widen and she gasps suddenly, reaching over to grasp Dean's shirt, pulling him towards her. ''Oh my god, what if he stays like that forever?''

''Look.'' Dean glances down at the grasp she has on his shirt. ''Ruby...Honey...'' He gently pries her fingers off his shirt. ''Lisa and Ben are working on it, okay? And this isn't forever. I - ''

''You promised you wouldn't bring home strays anymore!''

''_Hey_.'' He narrows his eyes and holds up a hand. ''You're the one that brought home that kitten for Bray last Christmas, Ruby. You remember that? You remember how we kept that thing for two weeks and then I had to take it to the shelter because it had scratched up everything including _us? _Do you remember that?''

''Yes, but a kitten is not a baby,'' she hisses.

''Well, you know what? I bet if we showed that little dude a picture of a kitten, WE'D HAVE A DAMN KITTEN AGAIN!''

''How did this get about kittens?''

''Mommy!'' Bray shouts out, putting on her stern face. ''Daddy!'' She looks in between them and puts her finger to her lips. ''Ssshh.''

''All right.'' Dean sighs heavily and drops his head into his hands. ''We just need to figure out - ''

''EW!'' Lisa's voice echoes from the living room. ''THAT IS _SO GROSS_!''

''Don't worry!'' Ben calls into the kitchen. ''We've got it all under control! Lars...Lars doesn't look like Bray anymore. ...But...''

But.

Of course there's a but.

* * *

><p>''Lisa,'' Dean says slowly, taking in the sight before him. ''Why is Shiloh Jolie-Pitt standing in my living room?''<p>

''I don't know, but I think this kid really has a gender identity crisis going on.''

Ruby leans over to Lisa. ''Probably shouldn't have used a tabloid to get Lars to put on a different outfit.''

Ben, eyes wide, turns to face the adults behind him. ''Do you know what this means?'' He breathes out, excitement dancing in his eyes. ''We're going to be _rich_.''

Dean arches an eyebrow while Lisa and Ruby look at each other in confusion. ''Come again?''

''Think about it,'' Ben grins. ''We take pictures of Lars and we sell them to the tabloids. How much do you think they'd pay for a picture of a Jolie-Pitt?''

''Ben,'' Lisa reprimands, cuffing him on the back of the head. ''Lying is bad. That's simple kindergarden logic.''

''Aw, come on,'' Ruby pipes up. ''What's the harm in a little - ''

Dean shoots her a look. She clamps her jaw shut.

''Oh!'' Dean exclaims suddenly, snapping his fingers. He turns to Ruby with a boyish grin spread out on his lips. ''I've got an idea.''

* * *

><p>Sam enters his brother's family's house without knocking. There's a part of him that thinks he probably should have knocked. Ruby has been a little wary of him ever since he came back into her life. And okay, so he doesn't have a soul. Is that supposed to matter? (Not that she knows he doesn't have a soul anyway.) ''Dean!'' There's a part of him that also thinks he should maybe lower his voice in case the kids are sleeping, but he doesn't. ''Dean, are you - ''<p>

''Sam.'' Dean pops out of the living room and grabs onto his arm tightly, glaring at him. ''Shut it,'' he hisses. ''The kids are sleeping.'' Then he grins, somewhat impishly, and says, ''Wanna see?''

Sam gets a bad feeling in his gut.

Grinning like a mad man, Dean pulls Sam into the living room.

Down on the blanket, Bray and the shapeshifter baby are sleeping side by side, which Sam supposes must be cute, but he can't really tell whether or not it's cute. Wait a minute. He looks closer at the littlest baby on the ground and leans farther down to gape at the child. ''Hold on,'' he mutters. ''Is that...'' He frowns and looks up at Dean. ''Is that baby..._me_?''

Dean smiles, laughs, claps Sam on the shoulder and then quietly moves out of the room.

Sam looks at the babies, then at Dean's retreating figure, and he rushes after his brother. ''Dean, wait...!''

**end**


	10. Naked

_AN: It's possible there was too much fun had with this one. It might be a little bit crackish. ...I'm okay with that._

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

* * *

><p><strong>My Blue Heaven<strong>

_Written by Becks Rylynn_

* * *

><p><em>10/_

* * *

><p><strong>Title:<strong>_ one of those times when we're gonna have a lot of fun  
><em>**Prompt: **Um. Basically, the prompt is _Castiel sees Ruby naked._ Because I wanted to write a story where Castiel sees Ruby naked and it's totally platonic.  
><strong>CharactersPairing(s):** Dean/Ruby. Cas. I guess technically Lila Bray is there too. She's just in the womb.  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T...well, because there's nakedness.  
><strong>Genre: <strong>Humor/Friendship  
><strong>Words:<strong> 568  
><strong>Notes:<strong> Lila Bray 'verse. Title from the song _Don't Stop (Color on the Walls) _by Foster the People.

* * *

><p>''Dean.''<p>

Dean looks up from what he's doing at the sound of Ruby's voice and isn't quite sure what to say when he sees what's in front of him. Ruby, very pregnant and wearing only an extremely small towel is coming out of the steamy bathroom with Castiel following after her, somewhat aimlessly. Dean's jaw falls open, he blinks _a lot_, and can't find the words to say.

Ruby jerks a thumb in the angel's direction, eyes on Dean. ''This belong to you?''

''I...What were...DUDE!'' Dean strides forwards and flicks Castiel on the forehead, which Castiel does not seem to appreciate one little bit, if the pursed lips are a sign of anything. Granted, they might not be a sign of anything. That might just be his face. ''What the hell?''

''My apologies,'' Castiel says flatly, stepping away from Dean. ''I thought you would be in the shower. You're usually in the shower at this time.''

''HOW DOES THAT MAKE IT BETTER?'' Dean bursts out. ''Personal space, Cas!''

''I slept in this morning,'' Ruby points out. ''The baby was kicking me all night.''

''Ah.'' Castiel nods, like he understands this and can sympathize, even though he really, really can't. ''You look very lovely pregnant. There's a glow.''

Dean gapes.

Ruby beams. ''Thank you.'' Then she glares at Dean. ''Would it be so hard for you to say something like that every now and then?''

''Okay,'' Dean chuckles nervously, and then forgets his own rule about personal space, walking up to Castiel and poking him on the chest. ''You need to get out now. Go wait with Sam, we'll be down in - Jesus Christ! Ruby!''

She drops her towel.

Castiel nods. ''See?' He peers at Dean. ''_Glow_.''

''Oh my, God! Ruby!'' Dean stamps his foot like a child throwing a hissy fit. ''_CLOTHES!_''

''What's the big deal?'' She shrugs. ''It's just Cas. It's like if we had a pet.''

''I wouldn't get naked in front of a pet!''

''Well, those are your issues, not mine.''

''So, like,'' Dean scratches the back of his neck. ''Would you get naked in front of anyone? Sam? Bobby?''

''I think that would make them uncomfortable. So, no. But Cas doesn't care.'' She turns to Castiel. ''Do you, Cas?''

Castiel opens his mouth to speak. Dean cuts him off.

''_I_ care.''

''Well, that's okay,'' she says, and pats him on the shoulder. ''Because nobody's asking _you_ to take your clothes off.''

Dean sighs and hangs his head. ''Can you...please...just put some clothes on? For my sanity? I'm begging you.''

''I _do_ like it when you beg,'' she says, turning to pull some clothes from her bag.

Castiel frowns at Dean and tilts his head to the side curiously.

Dean feels heat creep up his cheeks, letting out another nervous and incredibly loud laugh. ''That's not...It's not like a sex thing,'' he says. ''The begging, I mean. That's not a kinky thing. It's _not._''

Ruby grins and hums under her breath.

There's a very long pause and then Castiel blinks and meets Dean's eyes. ''Perhaps I should wait with Sam.''

''It's an idea,'' Dean says tiredly, rubbing at his forehead.

Castiel nods, brushes past Dean, and sweeps out the door.

Dean narrows his eyes and looks at Ruby. ''Do you enjoy fucking with me?''

''Most of the time,'' she says, without missing a beat. ''But sometimes I'm tired or I have a headache so I fake it. Like last night.''

His eyes widen in what looks to be pure terror.

She giggles under her breath.

**end**


	11. OT3

_AN: This is wacky and cracky, and I love it so much. It's out there and it kind of has an abrupt ending, but I really quite like it. Plus, I figured that after tonight...we'd all kinda need something like this. Tomorrow, I will be posting a more angsty oneshot. Possibly two if I can get the second one all written and prepped. Be prepared._

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

* * *

><p><strong>My Blue Heaven<strong>

_Written by Becks Rylynn_

* * *

><p><em>11/_

* * *

><p><strong>Title:<strong>_ if i ever give you up my heart will surely fail  
><em>**Prompt: **Dean, Cas, KC!Ruby, OT3, the aftermath of 6.22. (Disregarding 7.01)  
><strong>CharactersPairing(s):** Dean/Castiel/Ruby, brief mentions of past Dean/Lisa.  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T (there's talk of sex)  
><strong>Genre: <strong>Humor/Romance  
><strong>Words: <strong>2,309  
><strong>Notes:<strong> Title from the song _Future Starts Slow _by The Kills.  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> This fic is about a threesome. If that turns you off or squicks you out, better get out now.

* * *

><p>It's not as if they were together.<p>

They weren't. They _weren't._

It's just that sometimes Dean and Ruby had sex in the back of his car when they wanted to feel something, sometimes Castiel and Ruby made out under flickering vacancy signs when Dean and Sam were otherwise occupied and they had nothing better to do, sometimes Dean pressed Castiel against dirty motel walls just to see if he could, and sometimes Ruby fucked them both just because she _knew_ she could.

But they were _not_ together. Don't think they were. They weren't all involved in some angel/demon/hunter polyamorous relationship. They didn't make it a habit to have orgies or anything. It was just a thing that happened every once and awhile. And then it was a thing that happened a lot, then it was a thing that didn't happen at all, then it was a thing that started up again just to see if domestication and Lisa Braeden hadn't completely ruined Dean Winchester, and then it stopped. Quite abruptly.

'Cause Cas lost his damn marbles.

* * *

><p>Ruby blows out a breath, bored out of her mind, and stares up at the ceiling, making an attempt to count the cracks in the plaster. Life without Cas is difficult to adapt to. Somewhere along the way, in between the quick fucks and the hurried assurances that it meant absolutely nothing, she had somehow managed to fall in love with both an angel and a hunter. She's perfectly okay with owning up to that. Fuck the rules, she loves them both. She has no desire to be conventional.<p>

It's the other two who won't ever say they're in love.

A loud sigh interrupts her thoughts and she snaps back to attention in time to accept the beer Dean is offering her. He lifts her feet up, sinks onto the couch, and then lets her feet drop back into his lap. His eyes are focused straight ahead of him as he greedily slurps at his own beer and it is not hard to figure out that he, too, is thinking about Cas.

She stares at him for a moment and then says, ''I'm bored.''

He sends her a sidelong glance. ''You wanna have sex?''

She thinks about that for a moment. Then decides _eh, what the hell_. With a shrug, she jolts towards him, straddles him, grabs his shirt and slants her lips over his sloppily. Startled, it takes him a moment to reciprocate the kiss. His free hand that is not curled around a cool bottle of beer tangles in her hair and she desperately presses her body into his in an attempt to make it feel as good as it used to. Unfortunately, it's no use. With a huge sigh, she shoves him away from her roughly and collapses back against the couch. ''Nah,'' she murmurs in disappointment. ''It's not the same without Cas.''

Dean pinches his lips together, but doesn't disagree with her, tilting his beer to his lips once again.

''Hey,'' she says suddenly, after a prolonged moment of silence. ''Do you think we'll - ''

''No,'' he interrupts her rudely. ''I don't think we'll get him back.''

That comment right there? That's what did it.

Ruby is _sure _of it.

As soon as those words slip out of Dean's mouth and he starts to chug at his beer again, a soft sound interrupts their brooding silence. It's like a faint static sound. Like the sound of a television snow storm. Dean's body goes tense and he slowly leans forwards to nonchalantly place his beer on the table, tongue slowly running over his lips. Too distracted to find that unbearably attractive at the moment, Ruby leaps to her feet, making her way behind the couch, eyes moving around the room wildly. A small, slightly bitter smirk flickers across her lips as she turns to throw Dean an arched eyebrow. ''Incoming,'' she warns.

Dean, mouth turned down in a frustrated frown, casually steps in front of her as the static gets louder.

''Dean - ''

He holds one hand out towards her, keeping her at bay from whatever's about to drop in.

_Drop_ in being the keyword here.

Before they can do anything, the muffled sound of static turns into a deafening boom of thunder and a body falls from the sky, landing at their feet with a crashing thud.

''Oh, shit,'' Dean breathes.

''Oh!'' Body on autopilot, Ruby rushes forwards, dodging Dean's hands before he can grab her.

''Ruby, don't touch him!''

She pointedly ignores Dean's sharp warning, dropping to her knees next to the limp body at their feet. ''Cas,'' she whispers, turning him over onto his back. ''Oh.'' She grimaces as if she can feel his pain, smoothing down the sweat dampened hair on his hot and sweaty forehead. ''Look at you,'' she murmurs. ''Dean,'' she whips her head around to face Dean. ''He's burning up. Help me get him on the couch.''

''Angel's don't get fevers,'' Dean snaps. ''And I'm pretty sure _God _doesn't either.''

''Exactly,'' she throws back lazily. ''Dean, I...I don't think he's - ''

With a cough and a gasp of breath, Castiel snaps open his eyes, gasping desperately for air. He coughs some more, hacking violently, body shuddering as he fights for air. Ruby winces and tries to keep him calm, rubbing his back when he turns on his side. When his body stops spasming and he's fighting to regain a stable breathing pattern, his eyes find Dean's and he manages to sputter out, through his wheezing, ''I-I fell.''

Ruby's mouth drops open.

Dean folds his arms. ''Uh, yeah, you did. From the sky. Like really heavy _rain._''

Castiel stares.

Ruby shoots him an annoyed look. ''No, you _idiot._ He _fell._ As in from grace.''

Dean twitches, but doesn't make a move towards his ex-angel/estranged boyfriend-esque character on the ground. After a moment of bouncing on the balls of his feet, he looks over his shoulder nervously like he's afraid Sam or Bobby will come in, see the three of them and immediately jump to the conclusion of threesome. Finally, when the expectant looks he's getting from Ruby and Castiel finally break through that thick head of his, he curses, ''fuckin' hell'' and goes forwards to help Ruby haul Castiel to his uncoordinated feet, helping the trench coat-less _man _stagger over to the couch.

''My father,'' Castiel says quietly, looking down at the ground like an ashamed child. ''He was very angry with me.''

''Well, no duh,'' Dean remarks, pushing Castiel onto the couch not unkindly. ''You had the angel version of a massive temper tantrum.'' Lips pursed together, eyes carefully avoiding Castiel's much too blue irises, Dean brings a hand to Castiel's forehead. Ruby thinks the move is too intimate and gentle. Dean won't be able to sell his ''anger'' for much longer.

Feeling oddly compassionate, Ruby frowns worriedly and runs her hand over Castiel's sweaty face. ''Poor thing,'' she shakes her head, ''and he took your trench coat too.''

''I'm afraid it was lost in the fight,'' Castiel nods, looking inexplicably upset. (He seems more upset about his destroyed coat rather than the fact that he's a human with a raging fever.) ''Can...Can you both stop touching me?'' He asks softly, tilting his head to the side with a frown. ''Now is not the time for sex.''

''Cas.'' Dean narrows his eyes, but draws away anyway, pulling Ruby back with him. ''When we touch you, it doesn't automatically mean we want sex.''

Castiel looks surprised, like that thought honestly hasn't occurred to him before. ''It doesn't?''

''No.''

But then Dean and Ruby look at each and Ruby says, ''Later though. It'll be like that time we had sex when Dean had a fever.''

''Fever sex is _unreal_, man,'' Dean nods. ''It's like an out of body experience.'' Then he pauses, brow furrowing in thought. ''Or maybe it was just 'cause it was a threesome and threesomes in general are pretty fuckin' unreal.'' A small, lopsided smirk curves over his lips. For a moment, he appears totally lost to them, eyes glazed over, light blush creeping up his neck. He doesn't even respond when Ruby waves her hand in front of his face. But then he tears himself out of his threesome daydream, shaking his head, lips twisting into a frustrated scowl. ''But no! No!'' He points an accusing finger at Ruby and sends a withering glare in her general direction. ''Stop that.''

''What did I do?''

''Cas.'' Dean whirls around to point a finger at Castiel. ''Do you even realize what you did? Do you understand what you did was wrong?''

Castiel hangs his head.

''Hey!'' Ruby smacks Dean on the chest. ''Don't make him feel bad! You and your brother almost ended the world and did Cas make you do that?'' She gestures towards the sad-eyed look they're getting from the feverish guy on the couch with the _huge_ glistening puppy dog eyes. It reminds her of the time they took him to that brothel to ''deflower'' him only to get kicked out and subsequently pop his angel cherry back at the motel. ''No! He didn't! He gave you orgasms instead! Is this really how you're going to - ''

''Ruby, it's all right,'' Castiel tells her. ''Dean...'' He swings his gaze up at Dean, pleadingly. ''I'm sorry. I...I made a mistake. I thought it was... I did the wrong thing for the right reasons. Isn't that what the humans do? Isn't that what humanity is?'' Whatever all important speech he's going to make gets cut short when he breaks off in another coughing fit. When he grimaces in pain and splays a hand over his presumably aching stomach, Ruby sends Dean a begging look and Dean caves almost immediately, rolling his eyes and blowing out a heavy breath.

''All right, look,'' he pinches the bridge of his nose and then bends down to help Castiel to his feet. ''Let's just work on getting your fever down and then we can talk about how stupid you are, okay?''

''Okay...'' Castiel frowns and throws a look over his shoulder while Dean steers him towards the stairs. ''...I'm stupid?''

''Yes, adorably so,'' Ruby cuts in before Dean can open his mouth.

''What about the fever sex?'' Castiel asks innocently.

''Later,'' she promises, gliding in front of Castiel and taking his hands in hers, leading him forwards. ''But we can cuddle now.''

''Fuck that!'' Dean bursts out indignantly. ''I don't cuddle!''

Ruby and Castiel share a look, and then she nods. Castiel turns his head just enough to give Dean the sad eyes.

''Seriously?'' Dean gripes. ''Fuck you.''

Castiel lowers his head, still throwing the sad eyes at Dean through his eyelashes.

Dean stares. ''I don't know what I see in either of you.''

Ruby, giggling madly, slips her hands out of Castiel's and bounces up the stairs.

''We're not seriously going to cuddle, are we?''

In response, Ruby's shirt comes floating down the stairs, landing on top of Dean's head. ''Depends on what your definition of cuddling is!'' She calls down at them. ''Now hurry up! We've gone three whole months without sex!''

Startled, Castiel pulls the shirt off Dean's head and looks at him imploringly. ''It's been _three months_?''

Dean looks down at the ground and then tilts his head up just enough to offer Castiel a genuine smile. ''We'll talk later.''

''If you two don't get your asses up here,'' Ruby yelps, ''I'm going to start without you!''

''We should probably...'' He trails off, rubbing the back of his neck. ''She's not kidding, man. She will seriously... We should just go. Come on.'' His hands fall to Castiel's shoulders and he starts to steer the apparently former angel up the steps.

''Dean?''

''Hmm?''

''Do you think - ''

''Things will ever be the same again? I don't know. I think we'll have to wait and see.''

* * *

><p>Breaking the news about his relationship with Ruby and Cas was not easy for Dean, mostly because he expected the worst.<p>

Bobby's reaction was a lot of blinking. He stood there for a moment with his mouth open, tried to say something, took his baseball cap off, tried to say something again, and then sighed heavily, waved his hand and muttered a tired sounding, ''I don't even care.''

All right. Good. One down.

Sam's reaction was mostly silence. And then he said, ''Okay... So I'm probably gonna be really uncomfortable around you guys for like the next three days, but then I'll get over it, deal?''

Breaking the news eventually paled in comparison to getting Cas to _act like a human being. _

Ruby can't get him to eat anything other than cereal and despite the fact that Cas now has his own clothes he still prefers to wear Dean's, often stealing the only clean clothes Dean has left. Not to mention the dude seems to be becoming some twisted version of a damsel in distress, because he keeps getting himself into the dumbest situations that he then has to be rescued from because he can never seem to remember that he can't smite anyone anymore.

It's all a source of great amusement for Ruby and exasperation for Dean.

But the thing is - and this is the part where Dean has a hard time figuring out if this is sad or pathetic or the great American dream - he's never been happier. Yeah, it sounds fucked up and twisted, but it's the truth.

Dean Winchester is in a relationship with a demon who is addicted to french fries and who may be a little touched in the head _and _a former angel who has a monster addiction to Lucky Charms and Special K and who keeps getting himself into the wackiest sitcom-ish situations.

Ha! Take that, high school guidance counselor!

Boom! Suck it!

**end**


	12. Sick Everybody

_AN: It has been too long since I updated this collection._

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

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><p><strong>My Blue Heaven<strong>

_Written by Becks Rylynn_

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><p><em>12/_

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><p><strong>Title:<strong>_ lay your weary head to rest  
><em>**Prompt: **Sick!Everybody. Lila Bray 'verse.  
><strong>CharactersPairing(s): **Ruby-centric. Dean/Ruby. Lila Bray. Cas. Off screen but talkative Sam.  
><strong>Rating:<strong> PG-13  
><strong>Genre: <strong>Hurt/Comfort/Humor  
><strong>Words:<strong> 2,818  
><strong>Notes:<strong> Title from the song _Carry On Wayward Son _by Kansas. Timeline is sometime during season six after Sam got his soul back and before all the stuff with Castiel went down.

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><p>One thing is for damn sure: Ruby is never going to let her daughter leave the house again. Nope. Never. It's just too dangerous. The world is a clusterfuck of bad shit. It's full of monsters and human monsters and the fucking super flu and shit like that. All she did was take Bray to the park. She doesn't think she deserves a punishment like this. It's unjust.<p>

Every person inhabiting her house is sick with the flu and she is left to take care of them, playing nursemaid to the best of her abilities. Bray is just getting over it, still sniffling and still a little warm, but happy and not throwing up anymore, and Dean and Sam are both in the middle of it, still puking and still whining. You know what the saddest part of all of this is? Out of all of the sickos, it's the three year old who is handling it the best. Even when she was in the throes of the illness, she still wasn't as bad. The two grown ass men, on the other hand, are acting like gigantic babies.

Ruby, arms full of Bray's now clean comforter, still warm from the dryer, turns into her bedroom. Her announcement of ''all clean, baby, you can make your blanket fort now'' dies in her throat when she sees the occupants of the room. Bray is right where she left her, lying on her stomach under her parents' blanket, head poking out from underneath. The credits for The Little Mermaid are playing on the TV. Except now there's the added addition of the angel standing beside the bed, talking to Bray softly, his hand on her back. Ruby stops in her tracks and nearly bursts into tears of relief. About damn time he got his feathery ass down here. She needs help. Big time.

She doesn't give herself a chance to think anything through and before he can even turn around, she has dropped the blanket, raced across the room and launched herself onto his back, clinging to him like a monkey. ''You're here!''

''You called.''

Because she can't reach around to kiss his cheek, she kisses his neck instead, which may be slightly awkward but she doesn't even care. She has somebody else to sic the Winchester boys and their snot and vomit on. It's a win for her.

''Yay!'' Eyes lighting up brightly, Bray scampers off the bed to retrieve her blanket. ''Blankie! And no more pukey!'' She wraps herself up in the fabric, twirls around happily, and then dives back onto her mom and dad's bed, hiding underneath the blanket like a turtle. Sometimes the things that excite her are a little strange.

Ruby hops down off her angel perch and jumps in front of him, smiling with a renewed cheerfulness. ''You're my favourite person ever!''

His lips curve up into a calm (and slightly touched) smile and he has a nice smile so it makes her smile even bigger. ''What do you need, Ruby?''

Her smile fades and she grasps his arms with desperation, locking eyes with him. ''I need you to look after Dean and Sam.''

All of a sudden, he looks hesitant. It's like he knows what's coming. ''Are they injured?''

''Not exactly.''

''Are they dead?''

''No.''

''...They're not..._ill_...are they?'' He looks horrified by that thought. As he should.

She gnaws on her lip and smiles nervously. ''Well...''

''No.'' Looking greatly distressed by this information, Castiel backs away from her slowly, hand held out in front of him to keep her at bay. ''Ruby, _no. _I will not. I refuse. They are utterly shameless when they're ill.''

''Yeah, they annoy the fuck out of me too,'' she snaps. ''But unfortunately, I'm stuck with them for life!''

''Ruby - ''

''Castiel, please! Please, I'm begging you. I'm_ so _tired.'' She wants to cry so badly right now. If she wasn't currently about to have a breakdown, she'd be embarrassed. ''I'm so, so tired. Unbelievably tired. This flu bug...It's not just a normal bug, okay? It's like a fucking big ass cockroach. It's the plague all over again! Bray got it first - she brought it home from the playground - and then Dean got it and then he gave it to Sam. And little kids get sick and I understand that, but those two imbeciles... I cannot deal with them anymore! They're driving me insane! Sam will not shut up and Dean's smack dab in the middle of the delirious stage and he's still trying to convince me that he's not sick and he won't freaking stay still. Those two... I swear... It's like _oh yeah, dislocated my shoulder, no biggie. Pop it back in and gimme some whiskey. Got shot? No problem. Let me stick my unsterilized fingers inside of you and dig the bullet out._ But when they get sick it's just like _oh, god, what's happening, am I gonna die? I'm gonna die. Ruby, I want toast. Ruby, rub my back while I hurl. Ruby, pet me like a motherfucking cat_ and I just can't do it anymore, Cas! I can't!'' She's pretty sure she has wild and crazy eyes right now, but she can't bring herself to care. She has had _a lot _of coffee and the adrenaline is starting to wear off and Bray has watched The Little Mermaid three times today and she can't fucking stand that dumb mermaid chick. She's rooting for Ursula.

''I haven't slept in three days,'' she hisses, holding up three fingers in case he somehow doesn't understand. ''Three days. I have been running up and down the stairs and back and forth between the bedrooms and doing laundry and cleaning up barf and I don't even know how many times I've been vomited on! I've lost count! Nobody should ever lose count of how many times they've been thrown up on! That's just not right!''

There's a long and unbearable silence, in which Castiel stares at her and she drops her head into her hands and tries not to fall asleep standing up.

''Wow,'' a tiny voice says from the bed. ''You said a lot of words you're not 'posed to say in front of me.''

''Oh!'' Ruby's eyes widen and she jumps in surprise, hand coming up to cover her mouth. ''Baby, I'm so sorry. I forgot you were there.''

''Do you even realize how long it's been since I was sick?'' Sam's voice echoes from down the hall in a hoarse and congested yell and Ruby has to grit her teeth because goddamn even the sound of his voice is annoying her, that's how far this stupid thing has gone. ''My immune system has been compromised! MY IMMUNE SYSTEM!''

To her credit, Ruby manages to keep a straight face for a minute, but then she lets out a snort of laughter, which quickly turns into a fit of the giggles. Now don't mistake this for genuine amusement. She's not laughing because she thinks this is funny. She's laughing because if she doesn't laugh, she will cry. It's all so very overwhelming and wow, she should not have had that much coffee because she's starting to feel nasty. It's possible to overdose on caffeine, isn't it?

A thud from the hallway ceases her laughter immediately. Somewhat reluctantly, she rushes to see what's going on and yep, it's exactly what she had been expecting. Dean is sitting dazed in the hallway, struggling quite unsuccessfully to get to his feet. It really honestly looks like he has forgotten how to stand up. ''Oh, _heeey_, babe,'' he slurs out with a lopsided grin. ''M'fine.'' He waves his hand, unconcerned, voice breathless and wheezy. ''M'all good.'' He moves again, in another attempt to heave himself to his feet, but only manages to slump to the ground, earning himself a face full of floor. He lifts a hand, letting out a muffled, ''Still good.''

The right thing to do would be to haul him to his feet and help him back to the guest room, which he's sharing with Sammy while they're both acting like children. She's done it countless times before. It's the appropriate thing to do in this situation. She rolls her eyes and leaves him there instead. She turns to go back into her bedroom and rams straight into Castiel's chest, a shriek of surprise escaping her lips.

He stares down at her like he knows something she doesn't. ''You're sick as well, aren't you?''

She falters. Aw, fuck.

He puts a hand to her forehead, frowns in concern, and then sighs. ''You're warm.''

''Well, of course I am!'' She throws her hands up in the air in exasperation. She is totally spent. ''Contrary to what Dean and Sam believe, I am not invincible. But I let them think that because I don't need them worrying about me. But yeah,'' she folds her arms. ''As long as I'm in a human body, I can get sick. If I were in a dog's body, I could get worms. I am susceptible to whatever life wants to throw at me. Everything comes with a price and all that. But you know what?'' She pokes at his chest. ''It's okay. I accept my fate because when I sneeze and I watch all color drain out of Dean's face at the knowledge that yes, he _will_ have to take care of me and pet me like a cat it will be the best revenge in the whole entire world.''

Castiel is still staring at her apprehensively, one eyebrow slightly raised, lips this close to smiling in something akin to humor. ''I think you need to rest,'' he says slowly.

''I want chicken soup,'' Sammy calls out like a fucking four year old.

She puts a hand on her hip and throws a look over her shoulder. ''Sammy,'' she replies sternly. ''What do we say when we want things?''

There's a moment of silence while he thinks deeply about that, face most likely pressed into the pillow, left hand dangling over the side of the bed Ruby is currently making him share with his brother like they're kids again because like fuck is she going to let them whine around her daughter. They'll toss their cookies on her. (If they want to sleep in Bray's room, however, they're more than welcome to crash in her pink princess bed.) ''...I want crackers too.''

Ruby groans and rubs at her eyes.

''She wants you to say _please_!'' Bray pipes up helpfully. ''Geeeez, even I knew that.''

By some sort of miracle, Dean has managed to get to his feet in the hallway and he's even managed to walk. Nearly knocking Ruby right off her feet, he lurches unsteadily into view and sags heavily against the doorframe, practically collapsing. He mumbles some sort of slurred and breathy greeting, but honestly, Ruby can't understand a word of it.

Bray perches herself on her knees, throwing her arms in the air excitedly. ''Daddy! I haven't seen you in _forever_!''

Pale and sweaty, heat practically coming off of him in waves, he focuses his bloodshot eyes on his daughter and smiles weakly. ''Hi, Ruby.''

Bray's nose scrunches up and she gives him a very Sam-like bitchface. ''Um, _what?_''

''I can make Sammy soup,'' Dean rasps. '' 'Cause I ain't sick.'' He pauses. ''Anymore. I think it's passed. Feel my forehead.''

''Nah, I don't feel like getting third degree burns,'' Ruby fires back impatiently. ''Dean, you can't make Sam soup. You really can't. You will fall down the stairs and you will die.''

He huffs. ''M'fine. Look. Put my own socks on and everythin'.''

''Uh, no. You didn't.''

He stares, blinking a lot and still gripping the doorframe. ''What?''

She arches an eyebrow and feels a small smile threatening to cover her lips against her will. ''I put your socks on for you, dumbass.''

It doesn't seem to get through. He's still gaping at her blankly. ''...What?''

''Dean.'' Finally deciding to weigh in on the matter, Castiel strides forwards, puts his hands on Dean's shoulders and moves him away from the wall. Carefully, he stands Dean up straight like he's posing a Ken Doll and then steps back slowly, one hand held out to Dean (good instincts because Dean looks like he's about to drop like a stone). ''Walk in a straight line. If you can do that, I will allow you to make your brother soup.''

Dean, still staring with that downright stoned look on his face, tilts his head to the side. ''Cas,'' he says loudly. ''When'd you get here?''

''Straight line,'' Cas reminds him.

Dean smiles smugly. ''No problem.''

Ruby pinches her lips and puts a hand on her forehead. ''Dean - ''

He holds up a hand. ''Relax. I got this, Lila Bray.''

She flicks her gaze to the ceiling and shakes her head. This is what she's stuck with for the rest of her life. _This._ Should've chosen Damon Salvatore when she had the chance. (She's still smiling and still half amused, even as she thinks this.)

He gets precisely two steps and then he falls sideways and goes crashing to the ground.

Bouncing on her knees, Bray giggles and claps her hands together animatedly. ''It was like watching a tree fall! Do it again!''

Dean's prone and lifeless form doesn't move an inch. Experimentally, Ruby gently kicks at his foot. She gets nothing in response. ''Oh, for Christ's sake, he's passed out again.'' She turns her head to sneeze into the crook of her arm and then rubs at her itchy, watering eyes. Horror strikes. Oh, god, it's _starting._ ''Why does he keep doing that?''

''Ruby,'' Castiel sighs patiently. Well, thank fuck someone's got some patience around here 'cause she's fresh out. ''You've over exerted yourself.'' He unzips the hoodie she's wearing and slips it off her shoulders, leaving her in her black tank top. She doesn't feel cold. Actually, she feels kind of hot. That's unfortunate. That's a sign. ''You need to sleep.'' He puts his hands on her shoulders and steers her around Dean's body and over to the bed.

''You have to make Sam soup,'' she tells him, ''or he won't shut up about it.''

He nods, peeling back the covers. ''Yes, I'm aware.''

''And you have to put an ice cube in it before he eats it or else it'll burn his tongue.''

''Understood.'' He helps her crawl into the bed, steady hand on her back.

''And you have to make sure Dean and Sam don't kill each other because they will if they're left unsupervised.''

He tucks her in with a nod. ''I'll take care of everything,'' he promises. ''Lila,'' he looks at the little girl expectantly. ''You must make sure your mother goes straight to sleep and doesn't try to get out of bed.''

''I will.'' She nods seriously and then salutes him for good measure. ''I promise.''

Satisfied, Castiel shuffles back over to Dean. Ruby runs a hand through her hair with a yawn, watching as he bends down to place a hand on the back of Dean's neck. They disappear and she lets out a breath and sinks farther into the bed. Down the hall, Sam yelps in shock. She keeps burrowing farther under the covers and eventually rolls onto her side. Bray lies down next to her, smiling sweetly. ''Mommy,'' she lays a hand on her mother's cheek tenderly, all sugary sweet and innocent. ''If you try to get up, I'll sit on you.''

Ruby opens her mouth to say something, but doesn't have a response to that. ''Well,'' she says eventually. ''O-_kay _then.''

Bray sighs, sounding way too happy about this entire situation. ''I love it when everybody's sick,'' she declares, playing with the remote control. Again: Sometimes the things that make her happy are odd. She's awesome, but she's an awesome little weirdo.

''That's really messed up, kid.''

''When everybody's sick,'' Bray goes on matter-of-factly. ''They're all here with me and we all watch movies and we're together and nobody leaves me.''

Fucking _ow._ Knife right to the heart, little girl.

Bray smiles happily and presses play. The Little Mermaid starts all over again and Ruby is stuck with Ariel.

''Well, then I guess we'll have to try and get sick for you more often, baby.''

''You should do that.''

''OUCH!'' Sam howls. ''CAAAAAS! DEAN PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE!''

''Oh, fuck you, Samantha,'' Dean bites back.

Nauseated by the flu and Ariel's voice and Sam and Dean's annoyingness, Ruby pulls the pillow out from under her head and covers her face with it. Does she really have to put up with this shit? _Yep,_ a cheery voice in her head informs her. _For the rest of your life. But honestly. Would you really want anything else? This is as close to perfect as it's ever going to get._

Oh, shut up.

**end**

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><p><strong>AN: I had SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS ONE. And yes, there was a mention of a TVD crossover in this one. In my Lila Bray 'verse headcanon, Damon and Ruby are totally old friends. Quick question for you guys. I've been in a Lila Bray 'verse mood for this past month and it will probably carry on into December (Lila Bray turns three on December 2nd) so...if you guys have any requests for that 'verse lay 'em on me. I can't promise anything (I've learned not to promise anything) but who knows.<strong>


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